Three Lessons About Bad Dating Advice While in the “Friend Zone”
Can you spot bad dating advice even when it sounds correct? Here’s 3 easy tips.
“How come you two don’t date?”
The question is directed toward me, but the girl I’m sitting next to blushes a bright red. I fumble with my fork, unprepared for the question. Then we both eye one another with an awkward glance and burst into laughter.
“We’re just friends!”
Truth be told, I wanted to remain friends. However, she wasn’t so sure she wanted to to remain “just friends.”
There’s a genius scene in the movie Just Friends where Ryan Reynolds character explains the concept of the dreaded “Friend Zone” to a fellow co-worker.
“See when a girl decides that you’re her friend, you’re no longer a dating option. You become this complete non-sexual entity in her eyes, like her brother… or a lamp.”
While I found my friend beautiful, likable, and funny I wasn’t romantically attracted to her in the slightest. It ended up confusing her because I always wanted to hang out, yet she also had romantic feelings.
Friends continued to press why we weren’t dating, and I was honest enough to explain I didn’t feel a single romantic spark in my bones toward her.
“Why? She’s hot and you’re dumb,” a friend joked. As if beauty cures the ill for romantic feelings.
While I took my friends teasing with a grain of salt, one evening I sat listening to a respected and charismatic speaker talk about dating. During a Q&A portion a young man asked whether he should date a girl he felt no attraction toward. Like me, he explained she was pretty, fun, and he loved spending time with her — but other than that — the romantic spark was cold and dead. I perked up knowing I was in the same situation.
The advice the speaker gave him was this: “You should try dating because if she’s as amazing as you make her out to be, those feelings will eventually come. Commit to that person and the…
