Kris… this. And also People get too grabby with your attention / People use other people as crutches / People get too grabby with your time. I’ve long begun to distinguish between acquaintances and actual friends especially given the rise of the smart phone. I had someone absolutely lose their shit just last week when I was in the mountains of Colorado with little cell reception for a family wedding. I’d even informed them prior. But the text messages. just. wouldn’t. stop. Then they thought I hated them. Friends are not required to be clingy or needy. That’s not friendship. As you pointed out, that’s codependency.
I think the hardest part is when you get married/have a partner or have kids. Suddenly you’re a shit friend cause you can’t go to the bar because you have a two year old at home and your wife is preggers with number 2? Then the text messages start—Bruh, how come we never hang anymore and you’re always busy? Oh I’m sorry… I invited you over but the movie/bar/jorts party was more important.
All this to say, I think our society—and myself—need to start redefining real friendships. I think the hard part is that when people you were once close you finally realize are more in it for themselves, that friend break-up almost never happens and we all continue to have these zombie friendships.
Damn… now you’ve given me something to write about :)