I definitely agree that this can be applied to both sexes and do think it manifests itself differently between men and women as you said. Both makes excuses. Men are by far the weirder one to deal with. For example:

Guy 1: We hate your girlfriend. Please don’t invite her.
Guy dating girl: But she’s hot, right?
Guy 2: Seriously. You guys should break up.
Guy dating girl: But you all said she was hot.
Guy 3: This was before we knew her….

Male friends are very honest about when they dislike a girlfriend. They begin uninviting their friend to events if they know he’ll be bringing along his significant other, or they flat out tell them they don’t like her. I had quite a few friends tell me when they didn’t like a girl I was dating. Women, as you pointed out, are more complex when dealing with men with “potential.” But all that to say yes! Service, sacrifice, and compromise are foundational to the relationship. You can’t fix a 2-star guy unless he himself wants to change anyway…and that’ll happen without her usually.

Storyteller | Combat wounded veteran | Metalhead | Designer | Bleeding on a page just makes it more authentic: https://benjaminsledge.com

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