Alexandra, my condolences on the loss of your husband. God knows some days I imagine what it would be like if my wife passed, and the thought alone is crushing. However, in that same breath, I’m happy that you experienced such a deep and refreshing love. I’m reminded of this quote from C.S. Lewis:
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
When we love—and truly love—then there will be heartache and suffering. But there’s also deep beauty. Best to you and thank you for reading.